Ironically enough, the term bully can be abused (no pun intended). Just because someone engages in behavior that someone does not like or agree with, does not necessarily mean it is abusive. Nina encouraged attendees to incorporate the "reasonable person test." This test requires asking if most people would consider what the other person is saying or doing to be inappropriate or unacceptable.

Once it has been determined that the actions of a customer are that of a bully, his or her actions will typically fall into one of two categories - explosive or coercive. Explosive behaviors will include threats, fright or harm. Coercive behavior will often times include threats or actual force.

Bullying behavior is typically only experienced when three variables come together: a desperate customer must perceive some type of weakness in an individual and/or organization and that organization or individual must demonstrate evadable policies.

Desperate customers typically are working under much pressure to get immediate results. Often times they are working with reduced staff and have been adversely affected by the economy. Sometimes they have made mistakes. Bullying tactics can help a customer feel empowered and use such tactics to get what they want.

Many companies operate by training their staff to assume the customer is always right. Nina pointed out the originator of the phase never intended it to be taken literally but that it was meant to encourage employees to behave as though the customer is right, even when they were not. We cannot change customer behavior but we can choose how to react.

When working with an explosive customer, it is important to avoid responding in an emotional manner. Deep breathes, staying detached and not taking the interaction personally, creative problem solving and just plain pretending to be confident (even when you are not) can be helpful.

Steps for dealing with explosive customers includes 1) listening, 2) demanding respect, 3) work on the problem.

Listening skills are imperative in dealing with such customers. Customers should not be interrupted, but should be allowed the ability to "get it off their chest." Clarification can be obtained through paraphrasing. Face-to-face communication needs to ensure that body language communicates concern.

Credit professionals should demand respect. This can be achieved by letting the customer know you are willing to help, allowing the customer time to cool off and staying strong during the interaction. Bullies prey on the weak. If all else fails and the customer refuses to calm down, you can end the conversation until they are willing to be reasonable.

Working on the problem may require giving an apology. Apologizing is not a weak behavior if it is done professionally. Committing to resolve the problem will keep the conversation focused and productive.

If a customer is coercive, a credit professional needs to ask three questions that will help provide clarity in dealing with such a customer: Who are we? Who is the customer? What is the deal?

In determining who you are, businesses and credit professionals need to understand their own risk tolerance, how vital the work is for the success of the company and understand the economy. The company's competitive edge, profit margins, risk tolerance and the costs to finance a transaction must also be taken into consideration.

Understanding the customer should include looking that the five C's of credit; character, capacity, capital, collateral and conditions. It is also important to understand why the customer is making such a demand and to understand everything they are proposing including a review of the fine print. It is also important to determine if they are willing to negotiate and to understand the risks they may be taking.

Understanding the deal includes knowing how much money is involved and understanding the time value of money. Securing the transaction through various forms of collateral can also provide greater security and facilitate further negotiation. Negotiations need to focus on solving the problem and offer options and suggestions for a deal/resolution. Sometimes, however, the resolution may simply require walking away and moving in different directions.

Bullying behavior can be overcome but it requires practice, patience and persistence.