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Jul 01 2015
Diary of a Crazed Credit Manager
Mark Jones, Geneva Rock Products, Inc.


Today started out like any other day in the world of credit. I got up thinking it was a Monday so I guessed what I would probably have in the mail when I got to the office: 

NSF checks. Why do we still take checks when credit cards are much more efficient, and the answer is?

COD's. If your company is bringing in over a couple million in COD's using checks, you don't want to turn away business. I guess I shouldn't complain since it is part of my job security, but today was a reaffirmation to the hazards of this job.

Sure enough, there in my box were 2 NSF checks. Glancing through them I knew I could take care of one with a phone call, but the other one was a track down the culprit with a salesperson type of adventure. See how you can make your job seem more exciting.


So I called John (names have been changed to protect from swear words) and said "John, you know that check you accepted for the job you did last week in Springdale?  Well it has come back to haunt you. Notice on the check how it has a PO Box and no phone number. He looked it over. So I figured you would know where we can go to locate this person and collect our funds." 

He gave that puzzled look like, "So, why is this my problem?" 

So I continued, "You see John, without a physical address and no phone number, I can't locate this guy. That is why I need your help so we can go visit him out on a site to collect our money." 

The light seemed to shine above his head as if to say, "Oh yeah." 

Then John started to become a little nervous and I could tell something was up.

"Is something wrong John?"

"Well, I've heard this guy has a bad reputation when confronted. He has used some choice words before when things didn't go his way and he even put another guy in the hospital." said John.

John begrudgingly agreed to take me to the location and as we drove up I saw why John was afraid. There he was all 6'5" of him, and 300 plus pounds of solid muscle bulging from his shirt. My thought was if things did get out of control I could at least out run John since it was his problem in the first place.


"There he is," said John pointing in Thor's direction. 

"Can I just sit here while you take care of this?" said John.


My look of disgust didn't seemed to faze him, so I said, "Of course not. I need you to introduce me."

As we stepped from the car we could hear him yelling at one of his workers, and not in a polite manor. John and I headed in his direction and that's when he picked a wrench the size of Thor's hammer, and was coming at us fast. He looked like a bull charging at a matador and all I could think of was I hope my insurance covers this. John spun around and tried to run but slipped and as I tried to help him up it was too late. The behemoth was on us with the wrench held high . . .


As I helped John up, I found a smooth rock and thought of David taking on Goliath. If I hit him between the eyes, we might have a chance. But, I knew that wasn't going to happen. We were barraged with his yelling multiple times about references to our genealogy which made me think if my mom were here she would have washed his mouth out with soap.


He swung the wrench in my direction then pointed to a sign and said "Can't you idiots read the sign." We both looked over and saw the sign that said "Restricted Area Hard Hats Only. Get the #@&*%* off the property until you have a Hard Hat on that bald head of yours" he said as he pointed to John.

That's when I decided to skip the pleasantries, because I was just happy to be alive and said "Thor (name is changed to protect his innocence), would you mind walking with us back to the car so we can talk." "I don't know if you noticed, but I am working here" he said as sarcastically as he could.


So I responded in a like, but temperate, manner, because I knew he could kill me if he wanted to. "Thor, that is why we are here. We also want you to keep working, but because we have this NSF check from last week, we will not be able to sell you any more materials until it is resolved."

He didn't say anything but continued to follow us back to the car swinging the wrench. I was just hoping we were not going to be bludgeoned to death. I turned around and held up the NSF check with his signature on it so he could verify it was his. His demeanor changed and he said, "Sorry about that. Someone broke into my office and stole my checks. The bank canceled that account and set me up with a new one. I can write you another check?"

My first reaction was "Yeah right buddy, like I haven't heard that one before." But, I kept my thoughts to myself and said, "You know we want  to work with you and keep things rolling. If you write us a new check we will have to make sure it clears the bank before we provide you with more materials, but if you gave us a credit card we could clear it today." "Let's do it," he said.  Then he gave me the card. I called it in and life was good again. We shook hands and it was back to the office.

John kept saying in the car on the way back how lucky we were to be alive and not on the 10:00 o'clock news. I just smiled knowing it was just another day in the life of credit. That night I went home and opened the door and yelled, "Honey, I'm home. You won't believe want happened to me today!"


She came around the corner and sat on the couch. I sat down next to her and looked into those beautiful big brown eyes, then she started to lick my face. Man's best friend. Then I thought "What will tomorrow bring in the life a crazed credit manager?"